This blog is probably going to be all over the place in terms of topics because I don’t have a lot to say but want to touch on a number of topics.
I think the hardest parts of transitioning for me is the waiting, after the self-acceptance of course. Waiting is a big thing when everyday you live with anything as uncomfortable as gender dysphoria or other medical or psychological issues. It feels like I’m waiting for my life to begin because everyday I’m hiding my breasts feels like a day I can’t be 100% myself because for me they aren’t supposed to be there in the first place. Wait periods if you don’t have the money to pay for everything yourself is years. I’ve been transitioning for 2 and a half years now and I still might have to wait another year until my first surgery. Which in comparison to the time that other people have had to wait for things is really not that long however it is frustrating and psychologically stressful for me. Had I not had a support system in place with my girlfriend previous to starting transition I think I would have been lost to depression and anxiety. I am very fortunate and lucky to have come this far.
Financial difficulty has definitely been a barrier in my transition needs, positive attitude and a goal oriented frame of mind is what has kept me going along with support from my girlfriend and my mom (more recently).
Transitioning isn’t easy in a smaller city like Kingston but its not easy anywhere. The problem with cities that are smaller is that they don’t have a lot of doctors that have dealt with transgender patients and its hard to find the help you need. Fortunately after living for 2 years (on and off) for college and then later returning to Kingston in the summer 2007 to live with my girlfriend, in 2009 I finally found a great family doctor. I have also had my share of problems finding professionals that would assist me. Last year I was turned down by the Adult Psych Dept. at Hotel Dieu because they didn’t have anyone specialized enough in dealing with transgender patients. I was then told to contact HARS for counselling by self referral. I contacted HARS but in the end after having trouble getting in contact with the person I was told to contact, I decided that I would deal with my anxieties myself.
Often you have to travel a lot to get your needs met and have to ask for what you want and be direct without being aggressive or pushy. Before you go to any doctors, educate yourself as much as possible about what you will be talking about. They will appreciate it especially if they don’t know much about transitioning. Cost adds up when you have to travel to other cities, to get the care you need that is not available in your area, not to mention the extra costs of hormones and the many dollars I spent trying to find something “comfortable” enough to bind with.
Kingston overall isn’t a bad place to transition as we do have a LGBT community and there are many trans people here but like I said earlier adequate health care is hard to find for many people in small towns and cities especially if you are gender queer!
On a side note, I’m working on making a website for FTM Kingston and hope that when it’s finished we can use it to plan meetings, events, list announcements and bring the community closer together. Also, as things gear up for Kingston Pride I was thinking organizing a meeting for trans people to meet up and maybe march in the parade or just hang out and have some fun.
That’s all for now! Hope everyone is enjoying the warm weather as much as I am!
